I stumbled across this kids badge just now amongst the incredible mess on my daughters bedroom floor. I went to throw it out, then did a double take on the words that are written on it. I actually couldn't believe it...
"Boys lie"
Raising a child in this crazy world is hard enough, without all the external messages girls receive about boys, and boys about girls. Boys don't cry. Boys are mean. Boys lie. Boys hit people. Boys get angry. Boys are loud. Boys are naughty.
"It's ok darling, a boy likes you if he's trying to hurt you physically or he's stealing your stuff."
WTF??? What crazy fucked up world are we living in?? I hear parents all the time saying "oh they're just boys" to excuse the bad behaviour their boys are exhibiting. The belief systems we have around young boys, and men, is really really bad. And the validation from parents and society is just plain madness. Boys lie? Everyone lies...all the time. We lie to ourselves, we tell our children false truths, we lie to protect ourselves.
I am disgusted that this badge even exists. And any of you that know me, know I have had a LIFETIME full of crap from men. Yes they've lied, and they've cheated and they've punched me in the face and broken my soul. But that's my journey...and I know for a fact that these particular men were raised by ENABLERS. It doesn't make me bitter or twisted, in fact i'm out there trying to help as many men as I can. Because we have to CHANGE it.
And the change starts with you....so what are you telling your kids about boys? Are you scaring the girls off already at age 8? Are you joking around about the shotgun you've got in the garage to deal with any boys that come near your daughter when she's 16? Are you enabling your boys to be angry, physically abusive men? Are your boys allowed to cry when they're hurt? Are they allowed to be soft and emotionally intelligent? Are you trying to toughen them up because you're worried about what they might have to face in their lifetime? What are your own beliefs about men?
So much more to come on this...and we'll be running some amazing workshops for kids very soon at the centre. They'll learn how to meditate, express themselves and they'll be taught how to identify with their spirit animal (guide). If you have a young boy that is troubled and is exhibiting behaviours that concern you, contact me now and we'll work out a plan.
Catherine Lyell
Integrated Men's Health Solutions
Ph: 0401 541 571
Em: integratedmenshealth@outlook.com
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